Self Evaultion vs God’s Evaluation
Most of us assume that if we forgive our offenders, the offenders are now let off the hook — free from the consequences and get to go about their “merry ways” while we unfairly suffer from their actions. We also may think that we have to be friendly with them again, or go willingly back to the old relationship. While God commands us to forgive others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even to like being around those who hurt us.
With forgiveness, we are instructed by Jesus in Scripture that “if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” -Matt. 6:14.
I want to talk about how fear or other emotional experiences can dictate how we self evaluate. In other words, it may alter how we see things, view situation and even how we respond to the one who offended or hurt us. This can lead to making decisions by acting impulsively or it may delay your whole healing. This could lead you to miss out what God wants to impart to you- a clean heart. You have to make the decision to walk in obedience and trust him to make your path straight for He leads you to “God’s evaluation.” “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding” Proverbs 2:6
Setting Healthy Boundaries -- Christ centered versus emotional decisions
Proverbs 12:26 illustrates best what it means to choose people in your circle that they also seek to walk in Christ: “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray”
Choose friends wisely and make sure they are sharpening you as much as you are sharpening them, especially in being true Christ-followers. Peace comes when you choose to walk in God’s righteousness. The peace also comes with awareness and acceptance of what lesson God has imparted to you through prior experiences. You will realize that the heartache and anger from what your friend committed against you was never used by God to hurt you, but instead to guide you, to grow you, and to prosper you as you move forward in His plan for you. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will guide your path” Proverbs 3:5-6
When we forgive, we release his or her obligation to us. Thus, we release ourselves of the hold that unforgiveness can on our lives, which frees us from the bondage of pain. Forgive for your own good. Consider the cost of not forgiving: the energy and emotion you give to that hurt throughout the day or the sleep you lose. Inner peace is impossible with unforgiveness. When bitterness festers, the infection grows and damages our relationships with others. Forgiveness offers us freedom to move on so we can continue living. Forgive because it pleases God.
Instead of asking, "Why should I forgive? It's his sin, not mine," realize that obeying God's command to forgive frees you from your pain. Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our sins in the same way we forgive others." Forgive because you have experienced God's grace for your sins. Your perception of God's grace shapes the way you treat others. Through Christ, we receive God's grace - forgiveness - which we really don't deserve to begin with. No matter what you've done, God's grace wipes away all wrongdoings. If you grasp how little you deserve God's forgiveness, you'll be ready to release others.
Jesus taught this lesson when He visited Simon the Pharisee (Luke 7:36-50). The host didn't offer Him the common courtesy of having someone wash His feet. However, a prostitute washed His feet with her tears, wiped them with her hair, kissed His feet, and poured perfume on them. The woman understood what Simon didn't. She knew how grossly she had sinned and how generously God had forgiven her. As long as we think we're morally superior to those who have wronged us, we'll have trouble letting go of pain. The Bible is clear: "There is no one righteous, not even one" (Romans 3:10). Once we understand we truly are all sinners, we realize there isn't much difference between us and the one who caused the pain.